just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
