I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
