guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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