All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
