Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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