I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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