Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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