I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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