He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
