eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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