is your mom at the bar?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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