Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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