Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
