is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
