Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
