I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
As shirtless as possible
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
