I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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