Rock
Scissors
Fuck
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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