Dual....:-)
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
