i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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