carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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