My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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