a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
