I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
