This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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