so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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