you would pick up someone in the library
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
