sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's intense
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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