I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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