all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
