I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
