Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
