So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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