Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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