Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
