Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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