after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
