im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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