seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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