i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
