You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
