At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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