its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
