What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
