Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize