Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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