Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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