Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
