Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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