it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
