dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
