you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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