they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
