Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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