I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
