OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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