Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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