Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
