broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
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When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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