so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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