apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
